“I will follow the rules, I will follow the rules….” I can just hear those words ringing like bad music in my ears right now!! Have you ever been at that point where you were frustrated and you asked yourself, “What’s the next step? What am I doing wrong?” Well, I have, and I’m sure everyone who is reading this and has children, has as well. So I decided to take some steps and figure out some fun and productive ways to so call, “Discipline,” my children.
So, I’ve always taking the traditional approach for all these years, and I never understood why these approaches weren’t working. Was I doing something wrong? Was I being too conservative with the punishments? I finally realized that it wasn’t me in particular, (well sometimes…LOL), but it was more of the actual punishment itself, that wasn’t doing justice. So, I had to brainstorm some ideas…
I decided when all of the traditional methods, weren’t working, I would implement these new strategies I had brainstormed.
Now for the fun stuff!! I gathered my boys around the table and asked them to write 5 punishments each, that they thought they should get for a “Type 1” punishment. Of course you can coordinate it to how ever many you think they should have the option to choose from.
Some of you are probably wondering what a type one punishment is. It’s the minor things like, leaving the lights on before bed, leaving their backpack, coat, and shoes thrown on the floor when they come home from school.
They wrote out punishments that they felt were satisfactory to the offense. By them writing out their own punishments, it gave them a sense of responsibility for what they did. (Believe me, it really did!)
Some examples of their punishments for “Type 1” were:
- No Play Station for a day
- No Electronics for a day
- 25 Push-ups (I like this one!)
- Reading for double time
I agreed to the punishments that “THEY” decided on, and I had “THEM” put it in the punishment box. I then had them come up with “TYPE 2” punishments, which were for things such as hitting each other, not doing their homework and not doing chores.
Some of those examples were:
- Going to bed early for 2 days
- No electronics for 2 days
- Extra chores
- Clean mom and dad’s car
I did the same thing, I reviewed the punishments “THEY” decided on, and I had “THEM” put it in the punishment box.
Another thing I do is, I throw in a freebie, which is a “get out of punishment card.” I realized that by doing this, if they get the freebie card, they appreciate us allowing them that option, so they end up apologizing and doing something extra on their own anyway. It’s a psychology game…they don’t know that though. 😉
As far as Type 3, which are the major offenses, I don’t do this. I’m sure you guys understand why…LOL. Also, this style of punishment doesn’t usually work on kids over 11 years old. (Just saying from my experience.)
Hopefully this is able to help in some way when it comes to coming up with punishments for your children. It’s fun and it allows you to stay consistent. I know before I started doing this, I would give them a certain punishment one time and another punishment another time for the same exact offense.
The main key in teaching children how to become respectful adults, is being consistent and also, teaching them self-responsibility, which is the whole purpose of this style of punishment.
For anyone who attempts to use this method of punishment, please leave a comment with your story of success or otherwise!!!